Maybe I Should Puke

I feel strange.

Tiny nails and claws tickles my body and I twitch, and I flinch away.

I smile and I cry.

I live.

I feel strange.

Numb, but not quite.

Isn’t that strange?

I want to write something soft and nice and warm;

Full of something that everyone calls Love.

But all that comes out is pain and screams and tears;

Love but not really.

I feel so very strange, as I smile and cry;

Because I can’t quite feel anything and that is BAD, because humans are supposed to feel but I can’t I just can’t and what is wrong with me?

Depression is when a part in your brain has a hard time taking care of the positive.
Maybe mine simply can’t take care of anything at all;

Even my tears are fake, like liquid plastic dripping down and disappearing.

The horrible thing is that nothing is wrong.

They smile, they laugh, they encourage me.
Hug and cuddle and kisses and makes me smile.

And I just feel numb.

Am I living a lie?